


we ended here, we'll start here

by sivbix



Category: 1D - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-17
Updated: 2014-11-17
Packaged: 2018-02-25 17:42:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2630606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sivbix/pseuds/sivbix





	we ended here, we'll start here

the bustling town of new york city didn't make his thoughts go quiet. justin laid next to his boyfriend, chest rising and falling while he stared at the ceiling. everything flooded back, those events from two years ago. that one last time he felt close to his ex-boyfriend and claimed best friend. the last time he would see louis smiling, before he falls apart, melts into a dark bit of nothingness. he felt his heart drop at the thought because he returns and everything felt the same between them. the same nothingness. louis still faced those demons, and maybe it had been worse this time, making justin wonder the whole what if of things constantly. he loved zayn, he really did love zayn, but louis made it so fucking hard. mostly because justin would never ever be completely happy without him in his life. louis was his crutch. his best friend, that one person who was always there to keep him up, but it was so hard now. louis was broken and justin couldn't stand to watch it. his own head felt dizzy, felt fucked up. he always felt as if he were choking and drowning at the thought of knowing he couldn't have this man the way he once did. louis was falling apart before his very eyes, and no one understood it or saw what he say... not even louis himself. he always believed the broken could see other broken people and as far as louis went, he could see right through him.

hours passed. justin twisted the bracelet he wore, trying to close his eyes. but once he did, a few tears began falling. "fuck..." he whispered softly, taking a deep breath, trying so hard to shut himself down. but images of himself in this exact hotel two years ago crossed his mind, making him uneasy. his stomach twisted in knots, forcing his whole body to curl into itself. it felt as if someone had been stabbing him in the chest with a knife, making it hard to breathe. he gasped softly, trying to get rid of the pain, the sobbing he finally realized he'd been doing. "make it stop.." he whispered softly, quickly sitting up and getting out of bed, wiping at his eyes quick. still, thoughts flashed in his mind.

_"pick your poison.."_ replayed in his mind.

the night he drank and drank, took a few pills, made out and probably fucked megan. it was his first event of reckless behavior.

he sat down in front of the mirror, staring at himself, tears staining his cheeks before he closed his eyes. his thoughts grew stronger. things he had completely forgotten that night were all coming back.

_justin left his hotel room, stumbling down the hallway. his breathing was shallow, eyes blood shot and puffy. he felt nauseated. everything around him spun and spun the further he walked, causing him to nearly collapse. he could hear everything perfectly clear, but he didn't know what he was listening for exactly, or where he was going really. he kept walking, stopping in front of his room, fumbling for his keycard. finally letting himself into the room after struggling longer than intended. justin didn't even make it a few moments longer, he fell down in front of the toilet, hitting his head but began to vomit his guts out before completely collapsing._

_he laid on the floor with vomit pooling around him, his vision off, but hearing loud and clear. familiar voices surrounding him. he could hear louis and he sounded frantic, screaming justin's nickname over and over. justin didn't respond to him, his body was too numb and weak to even move. that's when another voice came along, coaxing louis, telling him justin would be okay then justin was being lifted._

_he laid in bed now. louis was next to him, leaning again andy and crying, a trash bin next to him. justin looked around. that's when louis frantically went over to justin and pulled him closer. "you're okay.." he whispered a little, still crying. "i thought you were fucking dead," he then added and held him tight, andy keeping an eye on him. justin then felt safe there. for the first time that whole night. he fell asleep again._

justin opened his eyes again, this time he laid on the floor on his side, heaving out a sob. he couldn't stop fucking crying and he needed louis. he needs him so bad. zayn wouldn't understand the pain he felt. only louis would, because they went through this together. the two faced so much in this city. he panted heavily, closing his eyes. he eventually stood from the floor, hands shaking, growing dizzy. he looked to zayn who was still sleeping before he turns to go toward the door. but right as he opens it, a familiar face stands right in front of him. louis.

"biebah..." he whispers. without a single word, justin shushed him and pulled him for a tight hug.

"i'm so sorry.." louis cries, falling weak in his arms. but justin never said anything, only cried with him.


End file.
